ARE YOU CUTTING STONES OR BUILDING A CATHEDRAL?

If a person is extremely successful quite often that person is perceived as being blessed with a high level of intelligence. But according to decades of research by Stanford University attitude is more responsible for that success than brains. Success isn't about the title or position you acquire in the hierarchy. It's about your impact. Whether you run a hospital outpatient or serve kebabs in the hospital cafeteria, the choice you're faced with every day is either to influence others by your example of excellence or play victim to the conditions around you. Conditions do not change; someone changes them for the better. Do you?  

Winning in life today depends on the value you contribute. Bureaucracy is no longer the decision maker on what you contribute, or when, or to whom you make that contribution. The size of your paycheck isn't the dictator either. Today it's your call. You have free license to be a philanthropist of your personal gifts. You can add value at any opportunity by applying your talents: your ingenuity, mastery, and imagination. The new world has given you the green light to give your greatness.

 

I went to Big Bazzar last night with my son to buy a couple of pairs of jeans for ourselves. When I asked for a particular brand and style of jeans the salesperson was clueless. "Not sure if we have them but the jeans section is over there," he said, pointing directly to the other end of the store. He then went back to checking his text messages on company time.

As we walked towards the jeans section, we met another salesperson. He was about the same age as the first fellow, about the same fashion sense and about the same position on the hierarchy. But that's where the similarities ended. This one seemed to be switched on to the real meaning of relation building.

"The jeans are over there, right?" I asked. "Yes they are. What exactly are you looking for - I’d love to help out," he replied with a warm smile. When I mentioned the style I was looking for, he explained that the company had stopped making them due to quality issues but was planning a re-launch in a few months. He then showed me alternatives, explained the benefits of each and basically took me through a mini-course in customer satisfaction.

So, sure environment matters and a positive, inspirational, excellent, encouraging environment is a core driver of peak performance. But if that was everything, both of these guys would have behaved in the same way. So what made the difference? It actually came down to their attitudes. The first salesman was a clock-watcher. The second was a relationship-builder. And one who I could tell understood that doing great work is one of the most important pursuits in life.

Developing an attitude that wins is vital. Our attitude will either be our greatest ally or our greatest hindrance…The greatest difference maker in your life is in you…your attitude – How you respond to difficulties and negative circumstances is the determinate as to what you will be able to accomplish in this life. Psychologist Carol Dweck has spent more than three decades studying attitude and performance and her latest research shows that your attitude is a better predictor of your success than your IQ. The key as to why some people achieve their potential while equally talented others don’t, isn’t ability Dweck found, it’s whether you look at ability as something inherent that needs to be demonstrated or something that can be developed.

Dweck’s research showed that people’s core attitudes fall into two categories: a fixed mindset or a growth mindset. People with a fixed mindset believe you either are or aren’t good at something based on your inherent nature, because it’s just who you are. These people consider their abilities, intelligence and talents as being maxed out and cannot be changed. This attitude can create problems when people with this mindset become challenged because anything appears to be more than one can handle consequently making a person feel hopeless and overwhelmed.

People in a growth mindset believe that they can improve with effort. They outperform those with a fixed mindset, even when they have a lower IQ, because they embrace each challenge and treat it as an opportunity to learn something new. “In this mindset, the hand you’re dealt is just the starting point for development. This growth mindset is based on the belief that your basic qualities are things you can cultivate through your efforts,” writes Dweck in her book, Mindset, The New Psychology of Success.

Although people may differ in every which way in their initial talents and skills, interests, or temperaments  everyone can change and grow through application and experience. The critical point measuring success in life is also how one handles failures. A person with a growth mindset approach failure uniquely, to then failure is information, or a feedback saying ‘This didn’t work, and I’m a problem solver, so I’ll try something else.’ Adopting either a fixed or growth attitude toward talent can profoundly affect all aspects of a person’s life, from parenting and romantic relationships to success at school and on the job.

So how do we develop the winning attitude? What you think about the most is what determines your attitude and this is your mindset. Mindset is a mental attitude that determines a person's interpretation and response to situations. It is the internal dialog that we have within our self on a continually basis.  Our mindset is established when we take information about the world around and that information interpreted, filtered and stored in particular way. It is worth realizing that we don’t see our eyes nor do we hear with our ears. Seeing and hearing actually takes place in our mind. The Eyes and Ears are simply transducers that feed information to our mind. Our mind interprets the information and determines what it sees and hears. So though each one of us may be seeing and hearing the same things, but it is our mind which is interpreting these stimuli separately and uniquely according to our mindset. If we have a fixed mindset a small bad news gets converted into a major setback and if we have a growth mindset even a major setback gets converted into a stepping stone for future success!

People who constantly have a bad attitude feel they can do nothing about it. They blame their parents, their Friends, their physical condition, their environment, the color of their skin and almost everything else under the sun. They always have a reason or excuse for their bad attitudes. You must take responsibility for your attitude. Your attitude is a matter of choice People who feel that they are victims and have no choice in a matter are people who never change anything. John Maxwell of ‘Do something for your growth’ fame says “The greatest day in your life and mine is when we take total responsibility for our attitudes. That's the day we truly grow up.”

You will always have positive and negative thoughts. The issue is which of these thoughts are more dominant in your mind. Because you have fear, anger, resentment, offense and other negative thoughts and attitudes does not make you nonspiritual – It makes you human! The issue is will you let those thoughts and attitudes dominate you? We live in the flesh and there are mean and thoughtless people in the world or people make mistakes…Get over it and deal with it! – We might get a low grade on a test, our bodies are attacked, our teachers get to us, we get rejected by our friends, and sometimes our families go crazy! What we think when these challenges occur determines our attitude!

Changing your attitude requires changing your thoughts, changing your associations and your attitude can change independent of your environment or circumstances. It is vital to associate with those that help build your life! Don’t let people poison your life with gossips, backbiting, complains, and doubts. Don’t allow yourself to be surrounded by negative people – You don’t have to be joyless, miserable and stressed out during times of adversity.

Your attitude will make you miserable or joyful, a success or a failure. Dr. Ben Carson, the famous Neurosurgeon grew up with no father or mother. He was raised by his grandmother and they were in abject poverty.  Poor grades in elementary school didn’t help either. When he applied to medical school, his guidance counselors told him he doesn’t have what it takes to be a doctor…..but he had the winning attitude, which the counselor failed to appreciate! Oprah Winfrey is today a Media Mogul and a philanthropist but she was born in rural Mississippi to unwed teen mother, raised in a Milwaukee ghetto then sent to live with her very strict grandmother who stressed the importance of reading and education. Very poor in her early years through early teen years, attacked by her uncle, her cousin and a family friend at age 9,  she gave birth to a son at age 14 who later died. Then she was sent to Tennessee and raised by birth father and got her first TV job at age 17 and simply followed her passion with a winning attitude! Prof. A.P.J. Abdul Kalam was born in a poor family in a village in Rameshwaram to a boat owner and his wife. He sold news papers to add to his family income as a child and was rejected when he tried to become a pilot. By sheer determination and attitude he played a pivotal role in our Nation's civilian space programme and military missile development and was known as the Missile Man of India. He went on to then become the most popular President of India!

There are no unimportant jobs in this world. All work can be infused with meaning, passion and a dedication to world-class. Remember the old story of the 3 stone cutters? The first was asked what he was doing. The reply was: "I’m cutting a bunch of rocks." The second responded: "I'm building a wall." The third smiled and said with deep pride: "I'm building a cathedral."

 

I hope you are in the cathedral building mode!